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Suggest You - Nine and a Half Ways to Get Yourself Fired From an IT Department
I have two buddies that hunt, Jeremy and Jeff. They get up at the crack of dawn and trek out into the Arizona desert to shoot some animals. I am not a hunter and have a better chance of bring struck by lightning twice than shooting a deer, so I am not invited. Maybe it's best that way, I kind of side with the deer anyway - hunt
7. Go behind your boss’s back to your big boss. Rat your boss off for incompetence, giving examples. The Big Cheese now has to decide whether your boss goes or you go –
Keen to advance within your career? Then you're probably aware that there are a plethora of programs and courses that promise to help you with your career development. Well, I'm the first to suggest that you closely evaluate the cost-benefit of any such offerings... but, in general, I do think investing in your education is imp
1. Produce work that constantly falls over in Systems Testing and in Production.
2. When the manager gives his weekly/monthly talk to the department, make sarcastic comments to those nearest to you that the management can’t hear (or so you think).
3. Under pressure, put a couple of changes into Production untested. After all the back-ups are run, the program falls over again, and there is no time for a further back-up. Systems will be up late in the morning, and the big boss will be telling your boss to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He will not be very pleased with you to say the least.
4. Use your lunchtimes (and work times) to look at porn on the net. The Internet is not very secure and Technical Support is normally the biggest rumormongers and gossipmongers in the building.
5. Keep checking your share prices on the Internet or over the phone and tell your fellow workers things like, “I made five grand today”.
6. At the Christmas Party make a play for your boss’s wife, challenge him to a fight when he complains, or better yet, say he is no good at his job in front of his wife and those who work for him. He won’t get rid of you right away. That would be too obvious. He’ll wait for just enough time to elapse so that it doesn’t seem that he’s dumping you for that reason. Certainly, don’t expect a contract renewal if you are a contractor.
7. Go behind your boss’s back to your big boss. Rat your boss off for incompetence, giving examples. The Big Cheese now has to decide whether your boss goes or you go –
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3. Under pressure, put a couple of changes into Production untested. After all the back-ups are run, the program falls over again, and there is no time for a further back-up. Systems will be up late in the morning, and the big boss will be telling your boss to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He will not be very pleased with you to say the least.
4. Use your lunchtimes (and work times) to look at porn on the net. The Internet is not very secure and Technical Support is normally the biggest rumormongers and gossipmongers in the building.
5. Keep checking your share prices on the Internet or over the phone and tell your fellow workers things like, “I made five grand today”.
6. At the Christmas Party make a play for your boss’s wife, challenge him to a fight when he complains, or better yet, say he is no good at his job in front of his wife and those who work for him. He won’t get rid of you right away. That would be too obvious. He’ll wait for just enough time to elapse so that it doesn’t seem that he’s dumping you for that reason. Certainly, don’t expect a contract renewal if you are a contractor.
7. Go behind your boss’s back to your big boss. Rat your boss off for incompetence, giving examples. The Big Cheese now has to decide whether your boss goes or you go –
Have you mistakenly trained your branding to fall over and play dead? Do you know how to use psychology to create branding that lights up with the voltage of a thousand neon bulbs? And can you play Scrooge with your budget, yet get huge branding mileage? And if so, how? Read on and find out how you can be a Leonardo Da Vinci wi
4. Use your lunchtimes (and work times) to look at porn on the net. The Internet is not very secure and Technical Support is normally the biggest rumormongers and gossipmongers in the building.
5. Keep checking your share prices on the Internet or over the phone and tell your fellow workers things like, “I made five grand today”.
6. At the Christmas Party make a play for your boss’s wife, challenge him to a fight when he complains, or better yet, say he is no good at his job in front of his wife and those who work for him. He won’t get rid of you right away. That would be too obvious. He’ll wait for just enough time to elapse so that it doesn’t seem that he’s dumping you for that reason. Certainly, don’t expect a contract renewal if you are a contractor.
7. Go behind your boss’s back to your big boss. Rat your boss off for incompetence, giving examples. The Big Cheese now has to decide whether your boss goes or you go –
Defining one’s business accurately is the real starting point when talking about businesses for sale. It is the prime requisite for selecting the right opportunities and for steering the corporation in the right direction. To make sense out of the multifarious changes taking place in the environment, to understand what is a pos
6. At the Christmas Party make a play for your boss’s wife, challenge him to a fight when he complains, or better yet, say he is no good at his job in front of his wife and those who work for him. He won’t get rid of you right away. That would be too obvious. He’ll wait for just enough time to elapse so that it doesn’t seem that he’s dumping you for that reason. Certainly, don’t expect a contract renewal if you are a contractor.
7. Go behind your boss’s back to your big boss. Rat your boss off for incompetence, giving examples. The Big Cheese now has to decide whether your boss goes or you go –
Your advertising plan should be a vital part of your marketing plan. You have an excellent service or a useful product and you need to let people know what you have to offer! People learn about your business through advertising. Because successful advertising is creative and innovative, the creative person has a distinct advant
7. Go behind your boss’s back to your big boss. Rat your boss off for incompetence, giving examples. The Big Cheese now has to decide whether your boss goes or you go – and you’re the hot favorite. The Big Chief won’t like employing someone who ‘does the dirty’ on his bosses. After all he might be next.
8. Refer to the full time employees as ‘Permies’ and make derogatory comments about their abilities. They have better access to the boss than you have – and will use it.
9. Have a go at one of the senior users on your project (preferably the Project Sponsor) saying that he or she knows nothing about IT and would be much better to leave the project to you and your colleagues. It is better to do it while the IT manager is there, too.
10. Bring disks or CD’s into work that you don’t bother to check for viruses. Eventually you will bring one in that will infect everything. Better yet, if the CD doing the infecting is a porn CD.
I’ve seen all of these things happen. I wonder if our readers have seen them happen too – or can add fresh ones to the list.
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