first example might be more colorful, but it was also filled with disjointed clutter. In the context of the story the Fiat probably won't play a major role, his friends may never be brought up again and the compilation of compounded details may not serve to further the story to any great degree. In the end the paragraph is about Bob and love lost.

You will likely find a way to put some life to the highly concentrated thought of the par

Writer and editor Wayne Holmes once provided a lesson in math when he said that in the world of adjectives 1+1=1/2. What he meant was for every additional use of an adjective in a sentence you dilute the overall effectiveness of the statement.

Bad Example

The extreme, oppressive and unwelcome heat hampered our journey into the Sahara.

Good Example

The oppressive heat hampered our journey into the Sahara.

“I think my mistakes were kind of common - leaning on cliches and adjectives in the place of clear, vivid writing.” - Dick Schaap

For the writer, 'clear and vivid' writing requires the intentional elimination of literary clutter. When using an adjective find the one that is strongest and use that singular adjective - send the rest home.

A skill you might use to make your writing a little tighter is to take a paragraph and reduce it to its core elements.

Example

Bob sat heavily in his customized 1972 Fiat 124 Spider. He wished he could be happy about the ride he had to take, but thoughts of the past kept niggling at the back of his mind. He tuned the radio to a classic rock station and recalled his friends who loved his Fiat when it was new, but they had long since ventured off in worlds of their own leaving him to deal with his most recent loss alone. He ran through the difficulties he faced in recent weeks. There were the late nights at the office, the missed dinner dates, the lack of attention and ultimately a call telling him it was over.

It's possible this paragraph could stand on its own, however, once you remove redundancies and nonessentials you wind up with the following.

Bob wished he could be happy, but the call telling him it was over found him in the mood to reminisce.

The first example might be more colorful, but it was also filled with disjointed clutter. In the context of the story the Fiat probably won't play a major role, his friends may never be brought up again and the compilation of compounded details may not serve to further the story to any great degree. In the end the paragraph is about Bob and love lost.

You will likely find a way to put some life to the highly concentrated thought of the para

my mistakes were kind of common - leaning on cliches and adjectives in the place of clear, vivid writing.” - Dick Schaap

For the writer, 'clear and vivid' writing requires the intentional elimination of literary clutter. When using an adjective find the one that is strongest and use that singular adjective - send the rest home.

A skill you might use to make your writing a little tighter is to take a paragraph and reduce it to its core elements.

Example

Bob sat heavily in his customized 1972 Fiat 124 Spider. He wished he could be happy about the ride he had to take, but thoughts of the past kept niggling at the back of his mind. He tuned the radio to a classic rock station and recalled his friends who loved his Fiat when it was new, but they had long since ventured off in worlds of their own leaving him to deal with his most recent loss alone. He ran through the difficulties he faced in recent weeks. There were the late nights at the office, the missed dinner dates, the lack of attention and ultimately a call telling him it was over.

It's possible this paragraph could stand on its own, however, once you remove redundancies and nonessentials you wind up with the following.

Bob wished he could be happy, but the call telling him it was over found him in the mood to reminisce.

The first example might be more colorful, but it was also filled with disjointed clutter. In the context of the story the Fiat probably won't play a major role, his friends may never be brought up again and the compilation of compounded details may not serve to further the story to any great degree. In the end the paragraph is about Bob and love lost.

You will likely find a way to put some life to the highly concentrated thought of the par

core elements.

Example

Bob sat heavily in his customized 1972 Fiat 124 Spider. He wished he could be happy about the ride he had to take, but thoughts of the past kept niggling at the back of his mind. He tuned the radio to a classic rock station and recalled his friends who loved his Fiat when it was new, but they had long since ventured off in worlds of their own leaving him to deal with his most recent loss alone. He ran through the difficulties he faced in recent weeks. There were the late nights at the office, the missed dinner dates, the lack of attention and ultimately a call telling him it was over.

It's possible this paragraph could stand on its own, however, once you remove redundancies and nonessentials you wind up with the following.

Bob wished he could be happy, but the call telling him it was over found him in the mood to reminisce.

The first example might be more colorful, but it was also filled with disjointed clutter. In the context of the story the Fiat probably won't play a major role, his friends may never be brought up again and the compilation of compounded details may not serve to further the story to any great degree. In the end the paragraph is about Bob and love lost.

You will likely find a way to put some life to the highly concentrated thought of the par

h the difficulties he faced in recent weeks. There were the late nights at the office, the missed dinner dates, the lack of attention and ultimately a call telling him it was over.

It's possible this paragraph could stand on its own, however, once you remove redundancies and nonessentials you wind up with the following.

Bob wished he could be happy, but the call telling him it was over found him in the mood to reminisce.

The first example might be more colorful, but it was also filled with disjointed clutter. In the context of the story the Fiat probably won't play a major role, his friends may never be brought up again and the compilation of compounded details may not serve to further the story to any great degree. In the end the paragraph is about Bob and love lost.

You will likely find a way to put some life to the highly concentrated thought of the par

first example might be more colorful, but it was also filled with disjointed clutter. In the context of the story the Fiat probably won't play a major role, his friends may never be brought up again and the compilation of compounded details may not serve to further the story to any great degree. In the end the paragraph is about Bob and love lost.

You will likely find a way to put some life to the highly concentrated thought of the paragraph, but having an idea of what is really important in the paragraph frees you up to make the ultimate thought much more powerful.