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  • Suggest You - Writing Tip: Active vs. Passive Verbs

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    g -- the Humvee is. The window is the object of the shattering. So shouldn't the Humvee be the subject? Ancient grammar swamis say yes.

    But, you say, the sentences don't seem that different

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    OR

    The bartender was serving Jenny her apple martini just as a speeding Humvee shattered the front window and threw Jenny from her stool.

    Which sentence jumps off the page? Notice that I didn't alter a single word, aside from changing each verb from passive to active voice.

    If you haven't heard those terms before, here's a simple definition: Passive voice makes the subject into the (passive) object of the verb. Active voice means the subject is the (active) person or thing performing the action of the verb. In the second clause, the window isn't doing the shattering -- the Humvee is. The window is the object of the shattering. So shouldn't the Humvee be the subject? Ancient grammar swamis say yes.

    But, you say, the sentences don't seem that different t

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    The bartender was serving Jenny her apple martini just as a speeding Humvee shattered the front window and threw Jenny from her stool.

    Which sentence jumps off the page? Notice that I didn't alter a single word, aside from changing each verb from passive to active voice.

    If you haven't heard those terms before, here's a simple definition: Passive voice makes the subject into the (passive) object of the verb. Active voice means the subject is the (active) person or thing performing the action of the verb. In the second clause, the window isn't doing the shattering -- the Humvee is. The window is the object of the shattering. So shouldn't the Humvee be the subject? Ancient grammar swamis say yes.

    But, you say, the sentences don't seem that different

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    I didn't alter a single word, aside from changing each verb from passive to active voice.

    If you haven't heard those terms before, here's a simple definition: Passive voice makes the subject into the (passive) object of the verb. Active voice means the subject is the (active) person or thing performing the action of the verb. In the second clause, the window isn't doing the shattering -- the Humvee is. The window is the object of the shattering. So shouldn't the Humvee be the subject? Ancient grammar swamis say yes.

    But, you say, the sentences don't seem that different

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    into the (passive) object of the verb. Active voice means the subject is the (active) person or thing performing the action of the verb. In the second clause, the window isn't doing the shattering -- the Humvee is. The window is the object of the shattering. So shouldn't the Humvee be the subject? Ancient grammar swamis say yes.

    But, you say, the sentences don't seem that different

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    g -- the Humvee is. The window is the object of the shattering. So shouldn't the Humvee be the subject? Ancient grammar swamis say yes.

    But, you say, the sentences don't seem that different to me. Wrong. Try this: count the words. Okay, fine, I'll do it for you. The first example contains 28 words, the second 23. Multiply that difference (five, math whiz) by the number of sentences in a manuscript. My example was extreme, so let's be conservative and say you save one word every fifth sentence by going through your manuscript and changing as many verbs as you can from passive to active.

    Take a manuscript of 300 pages, with an average of 300 words per page, and sentences of about 10 words... that's 9,000 sentences. Damn. No wonder finishing a manuscript is hard. Result: you've just cut 1,800 words, or six pages, from your manuscript.

    Why would you want to cut six pages from your magnum opus? Maybe you don't. Maybe you want to fill those six pages -- or

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