your focus for what you want (the best/most ideal).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just screwed up publicly (doesn’t matter whether it’s a couple of people or lots. How strong is the shame and embarrassment you feel when you’ve either screwed up or been screwed over?

Outrageous question: Has it ever occurred to you that people notice you more when you screw up or are on the

Addicted to losing sounds impossible. Addicted to the feelings it can create sounds downright outrageous, right? Losing money, making mistakes and even getting sick can erode a winner’s mindset. Here are some ideas on how to face them head on.

If life isn’t moving forward in the way you want it to, is it possible you’re more comfortable with life the way it is than the uncertainty of where you want to be? It’s easy to be seduced into regular, low-level of pain, frustration or sadness because it’s familiar -- even though it may not be how you’d prefer to live on a daily basis.

Repeat Warning: No judgments allowed. This is all about noticing what’s present in the operating system called You. If anything’s in your way, sweeping it under the rug, pretending it’s not present is counter-productive to moving forward.

1. Winners’ muscle workout: Honor the truth of a situation (good or bad).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just lost money (or paid retail, or the guy in the plane seated next to you just finished bragging about this super cheap seat when you paid full coach). Does it trigger a sinking feeling (or anger, or frustration, hopelessness) somewhere in your body?

Outrageous question. On a day-to-day basis, which feeling do you experience more – flat-out joy and exhilaration – or that heaviness? If it’s degrees of dipping, sinking (dread, worry, frustration), is it possible that in some weird way, that sinking, not-great feeling has become your default comfort zone?

2. Winner’s muscle workout: Hold your focus for what you want (the best/most ideal).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just screwed up publicly (doesn’t matter whether it’s a couple of people or lots. How strong is the shame and embarrassment you feel when you’ve either screwed up or been screwed over?

Outrageous question: Has it ever occurred to you that people notice you more when you screw up or are on the l

you want to be? It’s easy to be seduced into regular, low-level of pain, frustration or sadness because it’s familiar -- even though it may not be how you’d prefer to live on a daily basis.

Repeat Warning: No judgments allowed. This is all about noticing what’s present in the operating system called You. If anything’s in your way, sweeping it under the rug, pretending it’s not present is counter-productive to moving forward.

1. Winners’ muscle workout: Honor the truth of a situation (good or bad).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just lost money (or paid retail, or the guy in the plane seated next to you just finished bragging about this super cheap seat when you paid full coach). Does it trigger a sinking feeling (or anger, or frustration, hopelessness) somewhere in your body?

Outrageous question. On a day-to-day basis, which feeling do you experience more – flat-out joy and exhilaration – or that heaviness? If it’s degrees of dipping, sinking (dread, worry, frustration), is it possible that in some weird way, that sinking, not-great feeling has become your default comfort zone?

2. Winner’s muscle workout: Hold your focus for what you want (the best/most ideal).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just screwed up publicly (doesn’t matter whether it’s a couple of people or lots. How strong is the shame and embarrassment you feel when you’ve either screwed up or been screwed over?

Outrageous question: Has it ever occurred to you that people notice you more when you screw up or are on the

ot present is counter-productive to moving forward.

1. Winners’ muscle workout: Honor the truth of a situation (good or bad).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just lost money (or paid retail, or the guy in the plane seated next to you just finished bragging about this super cheap seat when you paid full coach). Does it trigger a sinking feeling (or anger, or frustration, hopelessness) somewhere in your body?

Outrageous question. On a day-to-day basis, which feeling do you experience more – flat-out joy and exhilaration – or that heaviness? If it’s degrees of dipping, sinking (dread, worry, frustration), is it possible that in some weird way, that sinking, not-great feeling has become your default comfort zone?

2. Winner’s muscle workout: Hold your focus for what you want (the best/most ideal).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just screwed up publicly (doesn’t matter whether it’s a couple of people or lots. How strong is the shame and embarrassment you feel when you’ve either screwed up or been screwed over?

Outrageous question: Has it ever occurred to you that people notice you more when you screw up or are on the

ssness) somewhere in your body?

Outrageous question. On a day-to-day basis, which feeling do you experience more – flat-out joy and exhilaration – or that heaviness? If it’s degrees of dipping, sinking (dread, worry, frustration), is it possible that in some weird way, that sinking, not-great feeling has become your default comfort zone?

2. Winner’s muscle workout: Hold your focus for what you want (the best/most ideal).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just screwed up publicly (doesn’t matter whether it’s a couple of people or lots. How strong is the shame and embarrassment you feel when you’ve either screwed up or been screwed over?

Outrageous question: Has it ever occurred to you that people notice you more when you screw up or are on the

your focus for what you want (the best/most ideal).

Scenario: Imagine you’ve just screwed up publicly (doesn’t matter whether it’s a couple of people or lots. How strong is the shame and embarrassment you feel when you’ve either screwed up or been screwed over?

Outrageous question: Has it ever occurred to you that people notice you more when you screw up or are on the losing end of something? You may find that people are more willing to help, offer solutions, listen to you when things go wrong. In a weird way, maybe you get more attention. (Or, maybe hiding out is just easier – can’t mess up that way or be criticized.)

No way this could become comfortable, right? For curiosity’s sake, just ask: “Do I attract more people (sympathy, attention) when things are going right? Or when they are going wrong?”

Be on the lookout for the ways we avoid feeling completely connected. We build elaborate stories in our mind that build on the illusion that we’re alone. If empty feels really familiar, take a whirl at the winner’s workout. Be ready for an upswing in your winner’s frequency.