ve of your own compassion, you have more flexibility. You can bend with the winds of stress but not be broken. You can accept and cooperate with what is going on, at the same time that you work to improve yourself and your situation.

From the safety of your own loving, you have an ability to see more clearly. You can observe your life with objectivity. You can make wiser cho

As you read the title of this article, you might be saying, "Self-compassion sounds great, but I'm a stressed out mess and my life is a wreck. How can I possibly go about loving myself?"

First, imagine vividly: If you had someone in your life who loved you just the way you wanted to be loved, how would that person show their love for you?

Let's say you imagine someone who totally, unconditionally loves you just the way you are. At first you imagine that they give you everything you wish for -- your personal genie from Aladdin's lamp!

But soon you realize that there is no challenge in getting every material desire. It's just a little boring!

So you imagine that your special someone is also there to help you grow into an even better version of yourself. She doesn't push. She just loves you. In that loving and compassion, she's honest with you.

Your special someone might challenge you, but perhaps also tease you into growing in a gentle and easy way -- just enough to stretch you out and keep life adventurous. He lets you know over and over how much he loves you.

How does that amazing person show his or her love for you? Start doing those things for yourself.

This is the most important point in the article. Let me say it again. Demonstrate your loving for yourself in real, tangible ways. Nurture yourself. Forgive your mistakes and keep growing.

As you love yourself the way that special someone might, you develop a new quality: Resilience. As you receive of your own compassion, you have more flexibility. You can bend with the winds of stress but not be broken. You can accept and cooperate with what is going on, at the same time that you work to improve yourself and your situation.

From the safety of your own loving, you have an ability to see more clearly. You can observe your life with objectivity. You can make wiser choi

totally, unconditionally loves you just the way you are. At first you imagine that they give you everything you wish for -- your personal genie from Aladdin's lamp!

But soon you realize that there is no challenge in getting every material desire. It's just a little boring!

So you imagine that your special someone is also there to help you grow into an even better version of yourself. She doesn't push. She just loves you. In that loving and compassion, she's honest with you.

Your special someone might challenge you, but perhaps also tease you into growing in a gentle and easy way -- just enough to stretch you out and keep life adventurous. He lets you know over and over how much he loves you.

How does that amazing person show his or her love for you? Start doing those things for yourself.

This is the most important point in the article. Let me say it again. Demonstrate your loving for yourself in real, tangible ways. Nurture yourself. Forgive your mistakes and keep growing.

As you love yourself the way that special someone might, you develop a new quality: Resilience. As you receive of your own compassion, you have more flexibility. You can bend with the winds of stress but not be broken. You can accept and cooperate with what is going on, at the same time that you work to improve yourself and your situation.

From the safety of your own loving, you have an ability to see more clearly. You can observe your life with objectivity. You can make wiser cho

of yourself. She doesn't push. She just loves you. In that loving and compassion, she's honest with you.

Your special someone might challenge you, but perhaps also tease you into growing in a gentle and easy way -- just enough to stretch you out and keep life adventurous. He lets you know over and over how much he loves you.

How does that amazing person show his or her love for you? Start doing those things for yourself.

This is the most important point in the article. Let me say it again. Demonstrate your loving for yourself in real, tangible ways. Nurture yourself. Forgive your mistakes and keep growing.

As you love yourself the way that special someone might, you develop a new quality: Resilience. As you receive of your own compassion, you have more flexibility. You can bend with the winds of stress but not be broken. You can accept and cooperate with what is going on, at the same time that you work to improve yourself and your situation.

From the safety of your own loving, you have an ability to see more clearly. You can observe your life with objectivity. You can make wiser cho

love for you? Start doing those things for yourself.

This is the most important point in the article. Let me say it again. Demonstrate your loving for yourself in real, tangible ways. Nurture yourself. Forgive your mistakes and keep growing.

As you love yourself the way that special someone might, you develop a new quality: Resilience. As you receive of your own compassion, you have more flexibility. You can bend with the winds of stress but not be broken. You can accept and cooperate with what is going on, at the same time that you work to improve yourself and your situation.

From the safety of your own loving, you have an ability to see more clearly. You can observe your life with objectivity. You can make wiser cho

ve of your own compassion, you have more flexibility. You can bend with the winds of stress but not be broken. You can accept and cooperate with what is going on, at the same time that you work to improve yourself and your situation.

From the safety of your own loving, you have an ability to see more clearly. You can observe your life with objectivity. You can make wiser choices. You can begin to prevent stressful problems before they arise. You can tease yourself into seeing the hidden benefits in your stressful situations. (And that's another huge key for succeeding at stress reduction!)

You hold yourself and your process of learning and growing in deepest compassion. Triggers for stress don't vanish magically, but you discover almost magical power to handle situations that once seemed overwhelming.

Read this article a few more times. Print it out and place it where you will see it often. Put it to work for you!

Dust off your self-compassion and see what magic appears to help you live with less stress and more personal peace. It's an adventure worth starting now!

Copyright 2007 by Dr. Ilenya Marrin. You may copy this article for republication or posting on your website, as long as you keep it intact and include the link to my website.