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Suggest You - Charismatic Communication: Words that Lose Hearts - Part 2 Unconscious Leakage
It's frustrating when your co-workers, audience members, teenager or even your dog (!) won't listen. While you can't control how they receive what you say, you can control how you send it. Here are a few tips on why people don't listen and what you can do to change it.1. Short Attention SpansWhen asked to guess the average adult attention span, most people say around thirty minutes. According to statistics, however, the average adult attention span is actually only seven seconds. That's right! Every seven seconds you go away somewhere. You think about something else. In fact, you could actually be taking a mental break right now!
The words “merely” and “just” also devalue the words and ideas that follow them in many contexts. “I was merely saying what I thought” reveals an attempt to minimise either guilt or responsibility and in some cases to transfer blame.
The word “try” is code for expectation of failure. This word enjoys such ubiquitous usage that few listeners would ever interpret it at the deeper unconscious level to mean anything other than a signal of impending
One of the competitive advantages quick-serves have long enjoyed is customer convenience due to the shorter cook times and the ability for the customer to pick up their food in a drive-thru or drive-in. That’s no longer the case. I recently passed a full-service restaurant that had a drive-thru for call-ahead and pickup orders. While it might sound crazy, it’s not that far-fetched. With so many full-service restaurants offering to-go and curbside pickup, drive-thrus are not far behind for them. Either way, the advantage you once had is shrinking.Additionally, at many restaurants you can order online or talk to a call center that handles
The executive in charge of your conscious mind has to go to lunch sometimes, or may otherwise be occupied. Review the following quote and you may begin to wonder if the CEO of this speaker’s conscious mind hadn’t taken a week’s holiday:
“I put everything on the line for this chance to show what I was really made of: my reputation, my job, my house, my financial future, the kid’s welfare, the man I’ve have been married to for fifteen years…”
Here, the speaker’s unconscious leakage turns into a torrent. Adopt the position of the man married to the speaker for the past fifteen years. How do you imagine you would respond to this wonderful tale of womanly courage? Would you be inspired to spend the next fifteen years with her, or would fifteen minutes be about as much as you could take?
We may not articulate our priorities exactly in the order embraced at the deeper unconscious level, but in the above example the extremes are so clearly delineated that it’s patently obvious the speaker would rarely, if ever, put her family first. Adding insult to injury, the speaker unconsciously ‘leaked’ her emotional distance from her husband. “My” as you know implies closeness. The combination of turning her children into “the kids”, her husband into “the man”, and the passive language that follows is a certain indication of negligent parenting and a dead marriage.
Be careful in listing priorities. There are times in public and vocational life where you will need to understand and embrace the priorities of your stakeholders and colleagues.
I ‘LL TRY, NOT!
There’s an old saying that goes, “If you only try, you’ll only fail.” Because the phrase “only try” is so embedded in our linguistic culture, the author probably added the second “only” to the statement in order to drive home the point being made. “Only” is a word that minimises or discounts the meaning of the words or ideas that follow it. In the case of “only fail” the language instructs the listener to view failure as trivial or inconsequential.
The words “merely” and “just” also devalue the words and ideas that follow them in many contexts. “I was merely saying what I thought” reveals an attempt to minimise either guilt or responsibility and in some cases to transfer blame.
The word “try” is code for expectation of failure. This word enjoys such ubiquitous usage that few listeners would ever interpret it at the deeper unconscious level to mean anything other than a signal of impending
No matter how you earn a living, one occupational skill you would do well to cultivate is the knack for getting along with the boss; that dispenser of raises and promotions is probably the key person in your working life. In most facilities, it's your boss’s opinion of you that determines your future in the company. A staff person in constant conflict with his/her supervisor, even if he or she is a virtuoso performer on the job can find his/her prospects considerably dimmed. Short of marrying his or her daughter, what can you do to get into the boss’s good graces and stay there? Fortunately, most bosses aren't monsters, so they respond to efforts to
We may not articulate our priorities exactly in the order embraced at the deeper unconscious level, but in the above example the extremes are so clearly delineated that it’s patently obvious the speaker would rarely, if ever, put her family first. Adding insult to injury, the speaker unconsciously ‘leaked’ her emotional distance from her husband. “My” as you know implies closeness. The combination of turning her children into “the kids”, her husband into “the man”, and the passive language that follows is a certain indication of negligent parenting and a dead marriage.
Be careful in listing priorities. There are times in public and vocational life where you will need to understand and embrace the priorities of your stakeholders and colleagues.
I ‘LL TRY, NOT!
There’s an old saying that goes, “If you only try, you’ll only fail.” Because the phrase “only try” is so embedded in our linguistic culture, the author probably added the second “only” to the statement in order to drive home the point being made. “Only” is a word that minimises or discounts the meaning of the words or ideas that follow it. In the case of “only fail” the language instructs the listener to view failure as trivial or inconsequential.
The words “merely” and “just” also devalue the words and ideas that follow them in many contexts. “I was merely saying what I thought” reveals an attempt to minimise either guilt or responsibility and in some cases to transfer blame.
The word “try” is code for expectation of failure. This word enjoys such ubiquitous usage that few listeners would ever interpret it at the deeper unconscious level to mean anything other than a signal of impending
A great way for raising money for any organized recreational or competitive sports program is arrange a creative sports fundraising event. Such events are very crucial to the success of any sports team and although these sports fundraising events take place year after year, now organizations are trying to find more inventive ways of raising the money. They are not only look for ways to get the all important cash into their coffers, but they are also looking for ways which will excite the public's imagination and so get them to hand over their hard earned cash.But probably the biggest contributing factor that will help to make any sport fundra
Be careful in listing priorities. There are times in public and vocational life where you will need to understand and embrace the priorities of your stakeholders and colleagues.
I ‘LL TRY, NOT!
There’s an old saying that goes, “If you only try, you’ll only fail.” Because the phrase “only try” is so embedded in our linguistic culture, the author probably added the second “only” to the statement in order to drive home the point being made. “Only” is a word that minimises or discounts the meaning of the words or ideas that follow it. In the case of “only fail” the language instructs the listener to view failure as trivial or inconsequential.
The words “merely” and “just” also devalue the words and ideas that follow them in many contexts. “I was merely saying what I thought” reveals an attempt to minimise either guilt or responsibility and in some cases to transfer blame.
The word “try” is code for expectation of failure. This word enjoys such ubiquitous usage that few listeners would ever interpret it at the deeper unconscious level to mean anything other than a signal of impending
Habits get a bum rap. When you think about your habits, I bet you think of the “bad” ones - the ones that you aren’t particularly proud of, like eating too much sugar, or smoking, or dwelling on your negative thoughts. According to Webster’s dictionary a habit simply is: A pattern or action that is acquired and has become so automatic that it is difficult to break.It’s easy to see how if you start a behavior, and continue to reinforce it, it quickly becomes a habit. The pint of Ben and Jerry’s after dinner, playing Free Cell when you should be making calls, or always leaping to a negative conclusion when something happens. Once habits are forme
I ‘LL TRY, NOT!
There’s an old saying that goes, “If you only try, you’ll only fail.” Because the phrase “only try” is so embedded in our linguistic culture, the author probably added the second “only” to the statement in order to drive home the point being made. “Only” is a word that minimises or discounts the meaning of the words or ideas that follow it. In the case of “only fail” the language instructs the listener to view failure as trivial or inconsequential.
The words “merely” and “just” also devalue the words and ideas that follow them in many contexts. “I was merely saying what I thought” reveals an attempt to minimise either guilt or responsibility and in some cases to transfer blame.
The word “try” is code for expectation of failure. This word enjoys such ubiquitous usage that few listeners would ever interpret it at the deeper unconscious level to mean anything other than a signal of impending
Want to know one of the biggest mistakes you’re making right now in your marketing? To be honest, it’s a very small mistake. But costing you BIG money.I’ve written copy for over 153 different industries. That’s why I can safely say you’re making this mistake right now. Doesn’t matter what you’re selling.Maybe it’s a product. Maybe it’s a service. Don’t care. The strategy I’m about to give you now WILL put thousands of dollars in your pocket for sure. And quite possibly tens of thousands. All depends on scale.Here it is: hey, don’t you hate it when you tell your prospect about what it is you do and sell, yet most of them don’t buy?
The words “merely” and “just” also devalue the words and ideas that follow them in many contexts. “I was merely saying what I thought” reveals an attempt to minimise either guilt or responsibility and in some cases to transfer blame.
The word “try” is code for expectation of failure. This word enjoys such ubiquitous usage that few listeners would ever interpret it at the deeper unconscious level to mean anything other than a signal of impending disappointment or lack of success. Put “try” and “just”, “only”, or “merely” together and you send a potent signal to listeners of dubious motives and doubtful resolve.
Linguistically deconstructed, the statement “I was only trying to help.” reads as follows:
only = attempt to minimise, trivialise, or discount involvement.
trying = lack of commitment, little expectation of success, or lack of real intention to assist in the resolution of the issue or problem.
Review the following quotes and intuit their real meaning.
“We’re merely trying to create a level playing field.”
“What we’re trying to do is balance the interests of the timber industry with those of the environmental lobby.”
“I can only put your proposal to cabinet and test its reaction.”
“We are trying to resolve a difficult situation”
You may have intuited deeper meanings similar to the following:
"We are covering up our callous disregard for the human misery caused by our policies by presenting a level playing field as self-evident imperative."
"We know we don’t have a hope in hell of achieving an equitable balance of interests but we have to be seen to be making an attempt. "
"I am not committed to helping you but will go through the motions. "
"We have little confidence in our ability and are softening you all up for an inevitable disappointment."
Notice how frequently public figures use words like “try” and “only” and begin to appreciate at a deeper level how you get a sense or feeling of a lack of commitment to what they’re saying. It’s amazing, isn’t it, that seemingly intelligent beings can’t imagine that you sense when they’re wriggling out of making clear promises and assurances or setting you up for a lack of success down the track.
Charismatic communicators understand that pretending to commit to something helps whittle away the credulity quotient of their listeners. The key to maintaining your audience’s credulity quotient in contexts such
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